Cubicle Warrior’s Picks – UFC on Fox 8: Johnson vs Moraga

UFC on Fox 8: Johnson vs Moraga, Seattle, Washington.

Girl fight!

Girl fight!

Liz Carmouche (7-3) vs Jessica Andrade (9-2) (Women’s Bantamweight, 135 lbs). Oddly enough, the only fight I care about on this fight card is the girl fight. No, it will not be Chris Wiedman’s b****, Anderson Silva, squaring off against Beyonce Knowles as shown in the picture.  The actual fight is between Liz Carmouche (7-3) and Jessica Andrade (9-2). Carmouche pushed Ronda Rousey harder than any other fighter. Too bad Carmouche knows nothing about grappling and tried to choke out Rousey around the jaw. Stupid Jarhead! You were supposed to crank the neck! ****, the United States Marines teaches that move. I can see why you left the Marines. The face crank cannot be used against a world-class judoka, but an RNC can be used against anyone if applied properly. What a disgrace! The good news for Stupid Jarhead is that her opponent is a fitness model named Jessica Andrade, who is 3-0 against Brazilian fighters named Silva. Too bad Liz Carmouche’s last name is not Silva, and her girlfriend’s last name is not Silva, so there is little hope for Andrade. Andrade does have a distinct advantage in grappling. I predict that Stupid Jarhead will go back to her non-grappling roots and knock that fake, orange tan out of the fitness model in the second round.

Robbie Lawler (20-9, 1NC) Bobby Voelker (24-9)(Welterweight, 170 lbs). The one thing I like about Robbie Lawler is that he KTFO’d Josh Koscheck earlier this year in his UFC debut. What I do not like about Lawler is that he is batting about 0.500 in his MMA career since 2001. Voelker can win this fight by not being as stupid as Koscheck. Cubicle Warrior predicts that this fight will go to the ground and Voelker will win by decision.

Rory MacDonald (14-1) vs Jake Ellenberger (29-6)(Welterweight, 170 lbs). Jake Ellenberger already won the social media battle by taking lessons from teammate Chael Sonnen, but in the ring Rory MacDonald has the decisive advantage in striking. Rory has KO’d Che Mills, Mike Pyle, and his girlfriend, and he had wins over BJ Penn and Nate Diaz. Ellenberger, on the other hand, only has KOs over broken down fighters Nate Marquardt (I do like this guy, but he has taken some beatings) and boring Jake Shields (nice guy, but lost his edge). I do believe that Ellenberger also holds a TKO victory over MacDonald’s girlfriend, but then again who doesn’t? I predict a Rory MacDonald KO in the first or second round.

Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson (17-2-1) vs John “insert nickname here” Moraga (13-1)(125 pound, flyweight). Mighty Mouse and John “insert nickname here” Moraga together weigh as much as Jessica Andrades’ bra and Liz Carmouches’ jock strap, but they both pack some speed in those cute widdle punches. Morago has superior wrestling, but those bouts were against Smurfs and Keebler elves. Advantage: Keebler elves and Mighty Mouse. When the dust settles, Mighty Mouse will win this rock ’em sock ’em battle by decision.


One thought on “Cubicle Warrior’s Picks – UFC on Fox 8: Johnson vs Moraga

  1. Pingback: Week 64 of 213: “He divines remedies against injuries; he knows how to turn serious accidents to his own advantage; whatever does not kill him makes him stronger” | Aerospace Cubicle Engineer (ACE)

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