Cubicle Warrior’s Picks – UFC 159: Jones vs Sonnen

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UFC 159: Saturday April 27, 2013, Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey. Main card: 10 PM EDT (7 PM PDT)

Jon “Bones” Jones (champion) vs Chael “American Gangster” Sonnen (Light Heavyweight Championship). Chael Sonnen has no chance in this fight. Everything that Sonne does, Jon Jones does better–wrestling, striking, takedowns, takedown defense–you name it. The smack talking is getting old, and it is time to back up the smack talk. Obvious pick: Bones Jones via 2nd round submission (possibly TKO).

Michael “Count” Bisping vs Alan “The Talent” Belcher (Middleweight bout). Bisping has been on the decline recently with losses to Vitor Belfort, Chael Sonnen, Wanderlei Silva, and Dan Henderson overshadowing his wins over Brian Stann and Yoshihiro Sexyama, but I expect him to win by decision over Belcher. Belcher’s only decent victory of note in the past four years has been a submission win over Patrick Cote in 2010. Cubicle Warrior’s Pick: Bisping by decision.

Roy “Big Country” Nelson vs Cheick “I look like that Djimon Hounsou from ‘Never Back Down'” Kongo (Heavyweight bout). These two fighters are total opposites in every way possible. Never count out Big Country in a fight, and never count out Kongo’s ability to underperform in a fight. Kongo will either knock out his opponent in 10 seconds or get knocked out by his opponent sometime after 10 seconds. I expect Kongo to underestimate Big Country and let him land on overhand right on the jaw for a 2nd-round KO.

The rest of the fights I really do not care about:

  • Phil Davis vs. Vinny Magalhaes (Light Heavyweight). This will be a contest between two grapplers whose skills nullify one another. The winner will be the one with more mix to his mixed martial arts. Phil Davis has a very slight edge if this goes into a stand-up fight.
  • Jim Miller vs. Pat Healy (Lightweight). Miller is a dangerous grappler that nearly went toe-to-toe with Benson Henderson in 2011. I foresee a submission victory in the 2nd round.

Here are the undercard bouts:

  • Rustam Khabilov over Yancy Medeiros by 2nd-round TKO  (Lightweight). Khabilov has some impressive KOs. Check them out on YouTube. Besides, his opponent’s name is Yancy.
  • Ovince St-Preux over Gian Villante by decision (Light Heavyweight). Interesting note: both of these guys played linebacker in college football. I give the slight edge to St-Preux for being an SEC alumnus.
  • Sara McMann over Sheila Gaff by decision (Bantamweight). Amer-cuh! **** yeah! Actually, the German girl can be quite vicious. The American had better have her head in the game.
  • Johnny Bedford over Bryan Caraway by 3rd-round submission. I really know nothing of these two guys, but Bedford seems to have more diversity in his wins.
  • Cody McKenzie over Leonard Garcia by early submission. Garcia used to be fun to watch, but his wild swings and suspect grappling game have made him everyone else’s stepping stone.
  • James Head over Nick Catone by decision. I just pulled a name out of a dark, smelly place.
  • Kurt Holobaugh over Steven Siler by decision. Same thing.
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