Cubicle Warrior’s Review of The Dark Knight Rises

I will just come right out and say it, “The Dark Knight Rises is mildly disappointing”. There. I said it. I did not hate it, I did not love it. If I had to watch it again, I would probably watch while imbibing in some red wine at the San Antonio Alamo Drafthouse. The movie spends about two hours reiterating how much Batman has lost his place in life after his beloved Rachel Dawes dies, his BFF Harvey Dent turns to the Dark Side of the Force, and all of Gotham thinks he is an maniacal murderer. Okay, I get it. It sucks being a multi-billionaire with a superhero alter-ego who is depressed. Fine. There is no need to spend two hours brooding over this. Now let us talk about Bain, AKA “steroid-pumped muscle head that sounds like Sean Connery inside of Darth Vader‘s mask”. To be more accurate, Bain sounds like Sean Connery inside of Darth Vader’s mask…when you can understand him! If you grew up with the Batman comic books, you will quickly realize that this movie deviates quite a bit from the comic books. SPOILER ALERT: every conclusion you come to before 2:01 will prove to be incorrect for the last 0:44 of the movie. The last 15 minutes of the movie are pretty good, except the cheesy ending. The ending is rather hurried, as if the director decided that 2 hours, 1 minute was too long to carry on the brooding from the previous two installments of the Batman saga and the last 44 minutes should be a quick wrap up to build up to the next trilogy…starring Robin.

The good:

  • Anne Hathaway is implied to be Catwoman. They never come right out and say it, but she does play Catwoman, and a good one at that. This version is a more sophisticated, developed character than the Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry film versions, and just as hawt!
  • Joseph-Gordon Leavitt does a very good job playing police officer Robin John Blake. SPOILER ALERT: Pay attention to his first name. Hint, hint.
  • I like that the movie does dig deeper into character development than most comic book movies. Maybe they spend just a tad too long, maybe an hour or so too long.

The bad:

  • I just want to punch the guy that decided to use the Sean Connery/Darth Vader voice for Tom Hardy’s Bain. Likewise, I would like to punch the guy that totally wrecked the comic book continuity. I probably would have been okay with the Bain story line if it were self-consistent within the 2:45 of the movie.
  • Christian Bale spends more time brooding here than is absolutely necessary.
  • Morgan Freeman’s Lucius Fox and Michael Caine’s Alfred Pennyworth roles are downplayed somewhat, probably to make room for the 2 hours of Christian Bale brooding.
  • There is not enough footage of Anne Hathaway riding the motorcycle. Just saying.

The ugly:

  • The plot is not consistent with itself.
  • The first 2 hours are severely drawn out.
  • The last 45 minutes are hurried.
  • The conclusion does not fit, unless you are a big fan of cheesy, happy endings.

Family friendly tips:

  • If you brought your kids to the other Batman movies, then this one should be fine. Be careful of the hanging scenes near the end.
  • In light of the recent shootings in Colorado, I would…not change a thing. Watch the movie. Escape the harsh realities of life. Do not let a madman ruin your day by lessening the enjoyment in watching the movie.

Cubicle Warrior’s rating: 3/5 stars. I would rank this one lower than Batman Begins (2005), but above the Dark Knight (2008). Don’t like my rating? Just remember that I am not a professional movie critic. Take my advice for what it is worth.

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One thought on “Cubicle Warrior’s Review of The Dark Knight Rises

  1. Pingback: Week 13 of 213: It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see. | iWalt 2.0, Cubicle Engineer…

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