The second installment in the “Sherlock Holmes” (note the quotation marks) franchise features a very much bastardized rendition of the classic match of wits between brilliant detective Sherlock Holmes and his arch nemesis, the evil Professor Moriarty. Creepy actor Jared Harris, better known as the creepy professor guy in the Resident Evil franchise, plays the creepy professor guy in the soon-to-be trilogy. Yeah, you read that correctly. This movie sucked so bad that they decided to make another one. Look, I tolerated the first Shirley Holmes movie, because it Rachel McAdams. This time, I only had a few minutes of ogling before they [SPOILER ALERT] killed her off…and there went my interest in the movie. At least the wine was good [click here for a review of the wine I consumed during this crapfest].
[SPOILER ALERT] This movie kinda sucks. Did I mention the wine? I recommend the Becker Iconoclast Cabernet. Apparently director Guy Ritchie wants to make Shirley Holmes an MMA fighter instead of letting him be a brilliant detective with top notch powers of deduction. Dr. Watson has been reduced to Shirley Holmes new dance partner and ambiguously gay love interest as Holmes continuously c0ck blocks Watson on his own honeymoon. Moriarty is not very convincing as a villain, for he comes across as a James Bond villain castoff trying to take over the world by starting World War 1 two decades early. Imagine Dr. Evil being played by a creepy dude with an annoying British accent. Robert Downey seems to have run out of laughs in this movie. There is absolutely no connection between these characters and anything resembling Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes. This Sherlock does not possess the power of logical reasoning, his disguises are just plain stupid, and his forensic science is crap.
I did not hate the movie, but I did not like it either. 2/5 stars.