December 25th, 2011. 0500 hours. Running through the checklist. Item 1: make a checklist. Done. There is an app for that. Item 2: presents under the tree. Done. Apparently Santa fit his fat ass through our non existent chimney. Item 3: hide the mountain of credit card bills. Damn you, Santa! When you spread your ****ing Christmas cheer, you could offer to pay the stinking credit card bills! Item 4: mom and dad. Yep. Still alive and kicking…each other. What an odd married couple. I cannot believe that I have their genetics and still turned out this awesome. I am convinced that I was adopted. New checklist item: find real parents. Item whatever: the kids. Yep. Still asleep. I love these kids. I derive whatever semblance of Christmas cheer I have from these little monkeys. Especially the boy. What I would give to be young, innocent, and unjaded like my little boy. It helps that he has his mother’s impish qualities for joy, happiness, and mischief. The girl… I love her, but I sometimes hate looking at a younger, much cuter version of myself…with the whole world out in front and not a care in the world. Item whatever plus one: my beautiful wife. What a dichotomy that woman is. She drives me crazy, yet I would go a different kind of crazy without her. She is the program manager for all things related to Christmas joy. I am always tempted to stop her from spending so much money on Christmas, but I guess it pays off when mom, dad, and the kids are all happy on Christmas morning. Besides, all the gray hairs that my wife gives me tend to add character, an aura of experience and wisdom. Item whatever plus n: me. The last item on my Christmas checklist is me. I have my health, a wonderful family, and a blog that nobody reads. What else could I ask for? Hint: AFPC cancel my orders and let me retire early.
My Christmas checklist is done. Merry Christmas to all of you in cyber space.
Sent from my Motorola ATRIX™ 4G on AT&T